Phthalo Blue Studio

everything i've ever wanted...

2007-01-19T17:27:00.000-07:00

is in this photograph. it's Cezanne's house. he lived there. he painted there. it's the most perfect place in all my dreams. one day, i want to live in a place like this, crumbly stone walls and all.

Prezzies!!!!

2007-04-06T21:56:00.000-06:00

How did you know I loved Princess Tomato and the Salad Kingdom? ....oh....yeah.....
and also an amazing cool hand bag that matches the birthday shirt from last year... oh FMR, you are so amazing! And Mr. Brown... I know you know how fabulous you are!

So I did surgery on my nintendo, and replaced some parts, and tinkered with other parts, and tightened a few screws, loosened a few others... and Kaboom! it works like a dream! !!!! No more rastlin' those cartridges! works better than I ever remember it working, in fact....

and so, we come to teens playing nintendo and not going to bed like she should.... But i gotta save the princess!

but check out this candy... I love candy. all kinds. from all over the world. the crazier the label, the better...but just one concern.... what exactly is this little guy warning me about?

Relocation station

2008-10-02T20:49:00.001-06:00

i'm turning over a new leaf, on the left side of the bed.

check out my new sparkle licious blog here:

http://sparklemeblind.blogspot.com/

ta ta friends hope to see you all soon!

this is not a test?

2008-01-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

-50c is not a temperature. I know I say this every year, but this is rediculous! I was so cold today that I started to cry, but my tears came out as popscicle petes (cherry and lime flavours) it was nuts ! People were all like " theys popscicles coming out o yo eye balls!!"

is there, or is there not sea-weed in your trousers?

2007-11-16T19:59:00.000-07:00

I am homeless, speachless, mindless, llistless, and all Vuh-klumpt!

I am thankful

2007-10-06T19:23:00.000-06:00

Sometimes we have to go without, to realize what we had. It has been a crazy year.... again. Life just seems to keep turning up the volume with each passing year, with higher highs, and lower lows, but some fantastic gits inbetween. I am reminded (as is the season in Canada) to be thankful for all the blesings that I have. I have food, I have shelter, but most of all, I have the love of friends and family, and that means more to me than all the gold in the world! Seriously, the amizing commitment shown by friends to me this year makes me so happy I could cry. and not only that, my big brother is getting married in 6 weeks to an amazing person I am honoured to call Sister, and bring an amazing family into the fold! I look so forward to crazy big family reunions and boisterous BBQ's! Life is strange at times, but I just need to remind myself how truly grad it all is!

Yes, I'm crazy

2007-08-21T21:42:00.000-06:00

But life is crazy. Life doesn't happen in a straight line, it happens in bursts and explosions, like hand grenades sending bitter searing shrapnel everywhere! Ya gotta be prepared to duck and run, but when something good comes along, you gotta be prepared to make that leap also. So yeah, I'm moving in with the boy I met *almost* one month ago, who asked me to move in on the 2nd date, and I sais "yeah, sure!" on the third date. At least now he's met my dad, so it's not totally, like, mental. Oh, and he's not afraid of my family either, probably because they fed him beers and hamburgers first.

and to paraphrase from my beloved Dead Like Me tv show:

It's the jumpin that's the hard part. the fallin' and the landin' just sort of happen, but the jumpin', that takes determination.

oh dear, whatever shall we do with me!

2007-08-15T21:11:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the lack of updates.... life has been wild!

AS for the boob thingie, the operation went well. I was so TOTALLY unprepared for it though. I thought it would be like a trip to the dentist, and i even made plans to play frisbee later that day... oh... I was wrong... But it all worked out. The lump was removed, and I am cancer free!

Road trip to Vancouver and Seattle was wonderful! good to see my beloved family! And Seattle, as always, was amazing! New shoes, new hoodie, and a new tattoo! What fun!

and in other news.... i met a boy, he's lovely, and I'm moving to Lethbridge to live with him. this is kinda wild and crazy, but really, let's face it people, it kinda is just the type of thing I might do. I'm looking forward to staring longingly out the window of my new place, as the wind howls discontentedly outside.

I got me a brand new pair of shoes!

2007-07-23T21:49:00.000-06:00

But I don't have to use them, because i've been swept off my feet and am thinking crazy thoughts. 2007 has been one helluva roller coaster ride, i tell ya. If you knew the thoughts in my head right now, you would call me kooky and send me home to my mother. yes you would indeed!

i just came here to tell you, I aint workin' here no more!

2007-07-17T20:09:00.000-06:00

Oh yeah! on to job number 4 for 2007!

actually, I am really excited about this one, I'll be working as the shipper reciever for a great art gallery in the wonderful Banff National Park! eeeeee!

Or.... maybe not. i think I have heat stroke, it was 38 degrees in the stupid condo I was painting and i almost died by falling off the stupidly ridiculous industrial cherry-picker/scisor lift (one of those lifty upy platform dealies so I could paint the ceiling) which was retarded to get into the stupid condo in the first place.

one day, I'll figure out what I want out of life. In the mean time, torturing myself with proximity to my crazy family shall have to suffice.

Yo Bear!

it's not the big C!

2007-07-14T19:58:00.000-06:00

but it's not, not the big c.... so I still get to go see a surgeon sometime soon. probably. Will this interfere with my new tattoo plans? anyways, i had no idea how much I was actually stressing out about this. the good news is, i get to see a plastic surgeon on government dime, and also eat some hospital pudding! can't wait! So I'm okay! i mean, at least physically. I'm not sure I'll ever be super okay mentally, because I like to torture myself too much.

and, of course, it gets more complicated than that...

2007-06-29T17:59:00.000-06:00

so, like, because nothing is ever simple...

alright, here goes. So, during said 5 or so dates with boy from previous post, he (yes, he, not me, he) noticed a small lump in my boob. And I was all like' what evs! it's hormonal" at the time. But then said lump grew some. I became concerned, saw my Dr, She was concerned, had an ultrasound, they were concerned, and today had a biopsy done, and am now myself more than a little concerned. Not to mention sore. My left boob is like swollen 2 sizes larger than the right one, and I have put frozen edamame in my shirt to help the swelling.

all this has happened in like, a week. should I be concerned about the unusual speediness of our overburdened health care system? best not to think too hard about it, i think. Thanks to Mr Brown for wandering the streets with me, while I was all doped up on anaesthetics and pain pills, buying trucker hats and tubes of paint, and coffees in quirky diners, keeping my mind off things. I'm sure it's all fine. I mean really, it's fine. I'm fine. totally fine. Other than the mega cramps, full moon flightyness, and hole in my boob, i'm fine. really.

And the moral of this story? apparently, i need to play with my own boobs more. *sigh*

growing pains

2007-06-24T14:16:00.000-06:00

so, to add to the list of things I should know by 25...

I'm not looking for sympathy or whatever, this is just one of those things that happen in life, that kinda stop you in your tracks, even if you were expecting it sooner or later...

so, I went crazy a few years ago... not to make light of a heavy situation, but shit happens, and yeah, I see now i dealt with it rather poorly, but to be fair, I wasn't in the most grounded state of mind... It just felt like the waters of life were getting way too dep and i didn't know how to swim. So i slit my wrists, and spent 6 weeks at the Foothills Country Club (psychiatric ward #23) and eventually realized I wasn't crazy after all. Yes, I had to go crazy to find out I was sane after all. and so after years of meds and trying to communicate with thereapists from another planet, I came to realize that i needed to find my own path, find what makes me happy, and hold on to that for dear life. And I did. I found the most amazing people who I know are gonna be life long friends, no matter what or where. i followed some dreams, and realized i could make those come true as well. and I grew hugely as a person. and that's fabulous.

but here's the rub, you see, for this growth came at a small cost. I know for a fact that the scars on my wrists have cost me more than one job opportunity, and more that one possible friend or aquaintance. and generally, I don't give a fuck about some shitty job ( i mean really, I'd have quit by now anyway ) or some lame person that is too simple or close minded to see past such things.

and then i met this guy (yeah, it's always some guy... i know...) we went on a few dates, whatever. He was actually a working combination of intelligence, wit, humour, and looks. I know, a rarity! and then he saw these scars and ran for the hills. Not that I blame him per se, i mean no one should have to deal with other people's baggage. But that's just it, i'm very conscious of always carryiong my own load, and not leaning on anyone. anyways, I guess I feel ripped off, some how, like being unfairly accused of a crime I didn't committ.

and what really pisses me off is that I am still kinda hung up on this guy. This has never really happened before either, i mean, i'm too much like an alley cat and usually can't sit still long enough to get attachted to anyone like this. i mean really, it was like 5 dates. not that big a deal. and yet, I feel... I dunno... like he was this mud puddle i stepped in, and it sucked the shoe off my foot, and now I have to walk who knows how far along this path with one shoe and one sock. It's not stopping me from walking, but i still notice with every other step that I'm missing my shoe. and I guess it's starting to piss me off a little. I mean, I'm no the type of girl who goes around allowing people to take her shoe so easily. I'm usually way more guarded than that. and I know i'll find another pair of shoes, and eventually forget all about this, i suppose. but for now, I think i'm still a little cross with the puddle that stole my shoe.

i go camping now

2007-06-22T00:00:00.000-06:00

I am somewhat excited, to go camping! even if it is with work peeps. i'm gonna eat chips (crisps, for those around the globe who don't speak canadian) and tofurkey dogs all weekend, and then come home with a tummy ache! what a good plan!

I got the hugest almost sunburn today, and I have an amazing tan line. Just thought you'd like to know.

Cheerio! Oh, no, I mean, Fruit Loops!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

I so funny, with the fruit loops... i crack myself up, I really do!

i am proud like her mother!

2007-06-17T17:33:00.000-06:00

Everyone should check out Whitney Layne! She's awesome! we worked together in hell some years back, and now she's a singer-songwriter-guitar player soon to be in culinary school. Checked out her show last night- it was amazing! so much amazingness! It was awesome! the angry keyboardist after her was not so amazing.

art gala extraordinair!

2007-06-14T23:51:00.000-06:00

Oh yes, it was all about me! okay... so it had very little to do with me. i went to the Calgary Timeraiser event this evening with the always lovely Mr. Brown. It was... well... it reminded me why I went to art school and quit my jobs every 32 seconds... i just don't want to end up one of those people. i have nothing to say to them, these overly groomed office types who are so very uninteresting because they've never done anything worth doing, or taken a risk in life because they are too afraid of what others will think of them... okay, so i'm a little drunk off one glass of wine and too many carbs at Denny's but still... anyways, in a room full of eligable bachelor's, they were all douche bags. every single one. But my painting was on the wall, and that's fab! i'll take all the press i can get!

Mega Update

2007-06-11T18:25:00.000-06:00

okay... so it's been a while... and by a while I mean ages! I'm sure everyone I know has given up even the faintest hope of checking for a new post here! ha ha! well... Life has been busy, what can I say? I got a new job... loved my new job... came to hate my new job... became indifferent about the job, and am now looking for a new job! I know! you don't need to say it, I have issues! But also, I have a mega tan! sweet!

I met a cute boy. we went on dates. He put me in the friend zone on the first down. after confusion, my stubborness set in and am now making it my mission du jour to make him be my friend. I am okay with this. He? maybe, maybe not, but what evs!

There are kittens upstairs

I changed the oil in my automobile, and it was only 9000 km over! eeeeep! engine sludge!

I am looking forward to camping... I think I'll sleep in my car... like a mini camper... a civic camper.... yeah...wait, I meant YEAH!

I baught a new nintendo game for $2 at a flea market. it was scary.

I am stealing big brother's friend jessica from him and making her my new best freind. (but not my new Uber-always-mostest-fabulous-mega-greatest friend, so don't worry Mr. Brown! and by worry, i clearly mean don't replace me! seriously!)

I am looking forward to visits from family!

Oh yeah! I moved, and also am super glad that no one is sick, dead or dying for once in my family! (i hope! I am furiously knocking on wood! all kinds of wood!)

I watche dMel Gibson's Apocalypto... It was very good. Mel gibson is a turd though. but watch the movie. for free if you can manage, cause Mel don't need your money!

Went to a mini highschool reunion with the girls I knew in HS but haven't talked to since the last bell at 3:15pm some 8 or so years ago... It was as though everyone had swelled... i looked fabulous though,, and also i don't have several children weighing me down, so I win!

Uuuummm... Italian lessons are great!

and other stuff too!

OMG Facebook has stolen my life!

2007-06-03T13:34:00.000-06:00

seriously! and I swore I'd NEVEr join! ha ha ha!

sailor talk

2007-05-11T19:40:00.000-06:00

So week two of the new landscaping job has myself and Dawn as the Cool People on whatever job we end up with. Oh yeah, we make fun of everyone and everything. It's pretty awesome. plus, the tan is lookin pretty great! except for the glove line... that part isn't great at all... But one thing i've noticed, is that working outside, doing a labour intensive job, makes me feel justified in every way to use as much profanity as possible. i get it now, why construction/labourer types are so gruff seeming. Like when you've worked all day in the sun, and some a-hole thinks it's clever to give a "you missed a spot" type of comment, they deserve a fuck-off! seriously... seriously... they deserve it...

i take it all back!!!!

2007-04-28T16:56:00.000-06:00

Don't leave me Cibbie, I loooooooooooove yooooooooooooooooou!!!!

anyways.... Whent to the uofc bfa grad show, there were 2 or 3 stellar works, and a lot of .... well.... wall filler. and the fruit was already eaten up by the time i got there, but i stole a piece of art work... so in the end it was a pretty balanced evening. I'm so over that institution, i'm never going back! (except for Italian classes every tuesday, but other than that, NEVER!) What I mean, really, is that there is no more nostalgic longing for those years in the art department. I'm so over it and ready to go somewhere else to expand my amazing talents.

Uh-Oh-oooooooo!

2007-04-26T09:33:00.000-06:00

remember B*Witched? (yes, i'm making fun of you, big brother :P )

so anyway... LAST DAY AT JOB!
I shall celebrate with strawberries? maybe. Sushi? maybe. Dancing happy joy joy dance? YES!

I watched The Corporation the other day (Yes, your dearest auntie does listen from time to time, mr francais) and am all pissed off! Damn corporations, ruining my life! So now I am extra justified in dumping this loser job (i've never like being a corporate number, anyway...)
Hey! I should be a roving travel reporter. I say this because I was watching pilot Guides (Lonely Planet) and it was all about Venice, and I thought, I could do that, I could go to places and talk about the stuff that's there. Anyhoo, as per previous corporation rant, I think I should sell my beloved Cibbie and purchase a Vespa instead. This is a hard decision, for Cibbie and I are like the Lone Ranger and Silver, or toast and nutella, or soda and pie, or slurpees and gummie oxtopushes, or friends with benefits....what? nevermind! what I mean is simply, I shall miss her on cold frosty winter mornings, when it's -32C and she starts on the first go. yeah... I should sell my tv too, it just sucks my life away. I wonder if I can get a side car, or a wagon to pull behind said vespa... hmmmmmm.....

now that's just creepy

2007-04-25T10:52:00.000-06:00

so there's this guy, in a big semi truck, across the street at the truck stop, and he's staring at me with his binoculars. oh, he's trying to seem coy, pretending from time to time to look at a bird or prairie dog, but i see through his rouse. so, i've made my own binoculars out of electrical tape and toilet paper rolls, and i'm staring back.

boating accident

2007-04-24T10:46:00.000-06:00

there's a girl out on the sea
floating on a pink surf board
this is not a locker room
that's a surf board, not a yacht.

oh jane sibrey. She's a wandering ascetic (of sorts) now. I should be one of those! yeah! Except, I would be a black widow ascetic, picking up stray men in bars accross the globe, and stealing their wallets! sounds like a good plan to me.

only today is for today

2007-04-20T16:12:00.000-06:00

as a funny april 19th day joke, I quit my job.... haha hahahah HAHAHAH HA! oh... the tears are running down my cheeks, it's so funny....

I'll start landscaping next monday. Should be lucrative, because it pays more than my current job, and my new boss promised not to screw me out of overtime and extra hours. and, i'll get to wear boots! with toes! made of adamantium!

it's not my fault i'm just too much person for one lowly job. Unless, of course, that job was cat sitting. It would be good practice for my future retirement as a crazy cat lady.

On a similar note, while I wasn't doing work at work again today, I looked up Immigration standards for a few places. I filled out the skilled immigrant something something form online, and I qualify! for AUSTRALIA! I could be an expat! I could emmigrate from this f-ing frozen wasteland into the land of surfboards and sunshine, where everything is perfect and turns out for the best. It's true, I saw Muriels Wedding!

doon't forget to check your boots for scorpions, kiddies!

jobs jobs jobs, which are good? which are bad? jobs jobs jobs- just ask your mom or ask your dad!

2007-04-13T11:47:00.000-06:00

So, in efforts to repair my self worth, I've decided my twenties have been and will continue to be, about gaining experience. Thus, in the efforts of new skills and knowledge, I am completely justified in quitting my job(s) at any given time to pursue so called greener pastures. I am not unreliable, flakey, or uncommitted, I am unchallenged, under-utilised and...well... yeah, I actually am pretty uncommitted, i guess...
Anyways!

I saw a mosquito yesterday! First of the year! It was quite exciting, especially since mere hours before, I had applied to be a mosquito counter for the city! Nevermind that I have no knowledge of entomology, statistics, or environmental science, seeing this mosquito is an omen I tells ya!

On another note, I am researching my next trip abroad, leaving next february if all goes well... I'm thinking I'll spend a few weeks in England visiting friends and art galleries, then catch some cheap flights if possible to see Belgium ( see previous post re waffles and mayo) maybe a few other random places (ie Amsterdam) and Paris maybe... but then on to the important part! I want to walk the old Camino de Santiago pilgrimage trail! It's about 760km accross northern spain from St. Jean Pied de Port in the French Pyrenees to Santiago. It should take about 30 days or so. I'm stoked! I wanna leave tomorrow! but, maybe I should, like, practice distance walking, a little. or something. And then, of course, after a well deserved siesta in spain, i might check out portugal, and then definately back to Bella Italia! I'm hoping to be gone about 5 months or so. I'm still researching walking trails to see if I can walk from Santiago to Rome. Maybe I should start by walking to Halifax! Or Vancouver! Or Seattle!

**Update!**
-Apparently, if I complete this journey on foot, i will recieve a papal indulgance absolving me of all earthly sin! Sweet! I'm gonna sin a whole bunch just before I go to make it a good one!